While we're on jokes.....

bfnjz52 · **Joined:** Jan Wed 25, 2006 9:03 pm **Posts:** 2668

A couple of old guys were golfing one day, when one of the men said that he was going to go to Dr. Mike O'Connor for a new set of dentures in the morning.

His elderly friend remarked that he, too, had gone to the very same dentist two years before.

"Is that so?" the first old gentleman asked. "Did he do a good job?"

The second gent replied, "Well, I was on the golf course yesterday when the fellow on the ninth hole hooked a shot. The ball must have been going at least 200 mph when it smacked me right in the nuts."

The first old guy was confused and asked, "What does that have to do with your dentures?"

The second man answered, "That was the first time in two years that my teeth didn't hurt."

:lol:

underdog · **Posted:** Mar Thu 29, 2007 12:49 pm

Maliboost · **Joined:** Nov Wed 29, 2006 10:55 am **Posts:** 2044

ROFLOL.

when I was a kid my dad would bite my "other hand" to get my mind off of the one that hurt. I only fell for "let me see the other hand" about 10,000 times. LOL.

bob

underdog · **Posted:** Mar Thu 29, 2007 1:23 pm

A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a
handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went
to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any
jobs for her to do.
"Well, you c an paint my porch. How much will you charge?"
The blonde said "How about 50 dollars?"
The man agreed and told her that the paint and other materials that s he
might need were in the garage.
The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her
husband: "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the
house?"
The man replied, "She should, she was standing on it."
A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.
"You're finished already?" he asked.
"Yes," the blonde answered ," and I had paint left over, so I gave it two
coats .."
Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50.
"And by the way," the blonde added, as she took the money, "it's not a
Porch, It's a Ferrari..."

Maliboost · **Joined:** Nov Wed 29, 2006 10:55 am **Posts:** 2044

I thought it was a BMW?? LOL.

bob

Keith Seymore · **Posted:** Mar Thu 29, 2007 5:28 pm

I had a very attractive blonde lady approach me the other day.

Quite breathily she said "...I'd do ANYTHING for $200.."

"Anything?" I said.

"...anything..." she breathed.

I thought for a minute and said "...paint my house."

:lol:

bfnjz52 · **Joined:** Jan Wed 25, 2006 9:03 pm **Posts:** 2668

Baa Dump Bump

bfnjz52 · **Joined:** Jan Wed 25, 2006 9:03 pm **Posts:** 2668

It's been a rough couple of weeks. I need some humor in my life. I'll start!
______________________________________________________________

A woman, standing nude, looks in the bedroom mirror and says to her husband, "I look horrible, I feel fat and ugly. Pay me a compliment".

The husband replies, "Your eyesight's damn near perfect

bfnjz52 · **Joined:** Jan Wed 25, 2006 9:03 pm **Posts:** 2668

The Alabama preacher said to his congregation, "Someone in this congregation has spread a rumor that I belong to the Ku Klux Klan. This is a horrible lie and one which a Christian community cannot tolerate. I am embarrassed and do not intend to accept this.

Now, I want the party who did this to stand and ask forgiveness from God and this Christian family." No one moved. The preacher continued, "Do you have the nerve to face me and admit this is a falsehood? Remember, you will
be forgiven and in your heart you will feel glory. Now stand and confess your transgression."

Again all was quiet. Then slowly, a drop-dead gorgeous blonde with a body that would stop traffic rose from the third pew. Her head was bowed and her voice quivered as she spoke, "Reverend there has been a terrible misunder- standing. I never said you were a member of the Ku Klux Klan. I simply told a couple of my friends that you were a wizard under the sheets."

The preacher fainted, and the congregation roared!

Maliboost · **Joined:** Nov Wed 29, 2006 10:55 am **Posts:** 2044

ROFLMBO.

I'm going to steal your jokes, just wanted to give you fair warning. LOL.

Bob

BBNovaRacing.com

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