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Two guys were discussing popular family trends on sex,
marriage,
and values.
Stu said, "I didn't sleep with my wife before we got married, did
you?"
Leroy replied, "I'm not sure, what was her maiden name?"
____________________________________
A little boy went up to his father and asked: "Dad, where
did all
of my intelligence come from?"
The father replied. "Well, son, you must have got it from your
mother, 'cause I still have mine."
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A doctor examined a woman, took the husband aside, and
said, "I
don't like the looks of your wife at all."
"Me neither, Doc," said the husband. "But she's a great cook
and
really good with the kids."
____________________________________
An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a
curse
he has been living with for the last 40 years. The Wizard says,
"Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were
used to put the curse on you."
The old man says without hesitation, "I now pronounce you man
and
wife."
_________________________________
Two Reasons Why It's So Hard To Solve A Redneck Murder
1. All the DNA is the same.
2. There are no dental records.
____________________________________
A blonde calls Delta Airlines and asks, "Can you tell me how long
it'll
take to fly from San Francisco to New York City ?"
The agent replies, "Just a minute..."
"Thank you," the blonde says, and hangs up.
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Two Mexican detectives were investigating the murder of Juan
Gonzalez.
"How was he killed?" asked one detective.
"With a golf gun," the other detective replied
"A golf gun?! What is a golf gun?"
"I don't know. But it sure made a hole in Juan."
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This guy has been sitting in a bar all night, staring at a
blonde
wearing the tightest pants he's ever seen. Finally his curiosity
gets the best of him, so he walks over and asks, "How do you get
into those pants?"
The young woman looks him over and replies, "Well, you could
start
by buying me a drink."
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Moe: "My wife got me to believe in religion."
Joe: "Really?"
Moe: "Yeah. Until I married her I didn't believe in hell."
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A man is recovering from surgery when a nurse asks him how he
is
feeling.
"I'm O. K. but I didn't like the four-letter-word the doctor used in
surgery," he answered.
"What did he say," asked the nurse.
"OOPS!"
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While shopping for vacation clothes, my husband and I passed a
display of bathing suits. It had been at least ten years and
twenty pounds since I had even considered buying a bathing suit,
so I sought my husband's advice.
"What do you think?" I asked. "Should I get a bikini or an all-in-
one?"
"Better get a bikini," he replied. "You'd never get it all in
one."
_________________
.
Dogg
http://www.stevemorrisengines.com
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