You Rookies!!25+1 reasons you know that you are old
1. Your house plants are alive, and you can't smoke any of them.
Never smoked house plants, To many cops in the family. 2. Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question.
True! I have a king........Not enough room to thrash around on a twin! 
3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge.
Joanne's half maybe, Mine, Nah! The beer is better quality now though. 4. 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to bed.
Got me there. 
5. You hear your favorite song in an elevator.
I don't believe in elevators.6. You watch the Weather Channel.
That's what windows are for!7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of "hook up" and "break up."
Been down that road a couple times myself. 
8. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14.
WHAT!!! More like 365 days! 9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as "dressed up."
True, Jeans and T Shirt in summer. Jeans and Sweat shirt in winter. 10. You're the one calling the police because those %&@# kids next door won't turn down the stereo.
Well..... I did spend the night in jail after using my Para 1911 to explain to the neighbor's kid why his was to loud.........little prick...... 
11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.
I don't have any older relatives. 
12. You don't know what time Taco Bell closes anymore.
Really don't care when Taco bell closes.
13. Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up.
Got me there also!
14. You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonald's leftovers.
Actually she gets Texas Road House leftovers. When I get steak, she gets steak. After all I like her better then Joanne! 
15. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.
Why would I sleep on the couch? Check number two.
16. You take naps.
I do like naps!!! 
17. Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of the beginning of one.
I don't do dates!
18. Eating a basket of chicken wings at 3 AM would severely upset, rather than settle, your stomach.
Only after a few Guinness' and half a bottle of Jagermeister 19. You go to the drug store for ibuprofen and antacid, not condoms and pregnancy tests.
Haven't worried about condoms and pregnancy tests for years. And frankly Jeger works better then antacid! 20. A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer "pretty good stuff."
Got me on this one.......
21. You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time.
ummmmmm breakfast! I can eat breakfast any time of the day.
22. "I just can't drink the way I used to" replaces "I'm never going to drink that much again."
Boy...that's for real! Guinness and Jagermeister ever used to be a big deal. 23. 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work.
Work! 
24. You drink at home to save money before going to a bar.
What???? Must be a youper thing.
25. When you find out your friend is pregnant you congratulate them instead of asking "Oh S*$# what the hell happened?"
Check #19. friends are in the same boat. Bonus:
26: You read this entire list looking desperately for one sign that doesn't apply to you and can't find one to save your sorry old butt.
When your butt is as old and flabby as mine you don't care if you save it or not! 
Login
FAQ
Search
