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An 80-year old Scottsman goes to the doctor for a check-up. The doctor is amazed
at what good shape the guy is in and asks,' How do you stay in such great physical
condition?'

I'm Scotch and I am a golfer,' says the old guy, 'and that's why I'm in such good
shape. I'm up well before daylight and out, golfing up and down the fairways. I have
a pint of McEwan's , and all is well.'

'Well' says the doctor, 'I'm sure that helps, but there's got to be more to it. How
old was your Father when he died?'

'Who said my Father's dead?'

The doctor is amazed. 'You mean you're 80 years old and your Father's still alive.
How old is he?'

'He's 100 years old,' says the Old Scotch golfer. 'In fact he golfed with me this
morning, and then we went to the topless beach for a walk and had a pint of McEwan's
and that's why he's still alive. He's Scotch and he's a golfer, too.'

'Well,' the doctor says, 'that's great, but I'm sure there's more to it than that. How
about your Father's Father? How old was he when he died?'

'Who said my Gramp's dead?'

Stunned, the doctor asks, 'you mean you're 80 years old and your grandfather's still
living! Incredible, how old is he?'

'He's 118 years old,' says the old Scotch golfer.

The doctor is getting frustrated at this point, 'So, I guess he went golfing with you
this morning, too?'

'No, Gramps couldn't go this morning because he's getting married today.'

At this point the doctor is close to losing it. 'Getting married!! Why would a 118 year
old guy want to get married?'

'Who said he wanted to?'

_________________
Dick MacKenzie

''Life's tough......it's even tougher if you're stupid.'' -- John Wayne